New Year, New You? No thanks…

The thing that drives me most nuts about the new year is the whole new year, new you attitude. Realistically, this sets us up for disappointment and frustration. Changing one thing is hard enough for regular people, let alone when you have chronic pain. Thinking you are suddenly going to do four things differently does you a real disservice. If anything, pick something meaningful you’ve wanted to work towards and just use the date to be the time you shift it, rather than piling on extra things that are unsustainable.

It is fine to have stretch goals or larger strategies you want to integrate. But even if it is a bigger goal, like getting more active or being more consistent with your workouts, break that down into small achievable habit changes that are sustainable when life is lifey and take into account your regular life, rather than when you could theoretically do when things go perfectly (which is never reality and then we blame ourselves).

I also like thinking about the new year also in terms of not what I want to achieve even if I have specific goals I’m working towards, but what I want to embody. What trait or attribute do I want to cultivate? What feeling can I conjure up through action? What value can I be more intentional in living and breathing in more parts of my life? What process am I excited about regardless of the result I’m aiming for?

The New Year to me, is not about what we do, but who we are. And making choices that move us closer to that, rather than further away.⁣

Remaining soft in a world that will harden you requires vulnerability.⁣
Bringing beauty into a world that wants to see your flaws requires strength. ⁣
Telling your truth when it is easier to hide requires courage.⁣
Believing you can change your life despite all odds requires autonomy and self-efficacy. ⁣
Fighting through periods it's easier to give up requires resilience. ⁣
Talking risks requires faith in your ability to survive whatever happens.⁣

Some of these traits we come with to a degree. Much of it, we must develop through the fire.⁣..

I speak often about how chronic pain changes us. There are many things it takes from us. But it also forces us to see what's important; what's worth fighting for. ⁣

Like with addiction or other challenges that affect every part of our lives, we can want to make changes for others, because of our love for others - but at the end of the day it has to be for us. ⁣

I have had many years where just surviving was the win. Where just still being here was a tremendous victory. If that is where you are, it is no less impressive than the people you look at further into their journey who have figured out how to thrive at times besides just survive.⁣

Please do not compare your year one to someone's year five. Comparison breeds guilt and grief. But if you can look in the mirror and honestly go, there are things I could improve in my life to begin moving the needle, that can be used as inspiration. ⁣

Honestly, I don't like the word inspiring, or to think of myself as inspiring. I am a regular human who also struggles and falls off at times. Over and over in fact.⁣ What I have mastered though, is getting back up. And choosing to be kind, not nice (they are different, especially as women), because I know what it feels like to be angry and resentful at people and a system that should've cared more. ⁣

So I try to improve it. And the things in my life that make it worth living, even if I can't change or control everything…Wishing you a happy New Year's and grounding pause before shifting into 2026. I have as I've gotten older, I've moved from New Year's being a big celebration to more of a reflection...to pause and give myself credit for what I have done, and to make sure I am carrying more of the good things over, and leaving behind some of the things I've learned I want to shed.

You can check out this post for some of my 'highlights' of 2025, but remember, life is never a highlight Reel. All these moments came with doubt, frustration, and the unspoken toll we all know too well. But they also came with joy, meaning, and have moved me closer to the life I want to create despite persistent pain - which is my goal for all of you.

I am looking forward to sharing more resources and what is to come at RWC this year, growing the impact of It's Not in Your Head podcast, and releasing some very special projects and global collaborations in 2026 - besides actually having more of a personal life now ( which was the most significant growth of 2025 for me after years of putting everything I had into work). I am so grateful for all of your support and personal courage in making changes for yourself this year as well.

Happy 2026! And never forget, we are all in this together.